Fun With Scammers: Jelena And The Priest

Fun With Scammers: Jelena And The Priest

August 22, 2019 4 By mattdoylemedia

So, long-time readers may remember that I have a habit of replying to what can only be described as obvious scam e-mails. My reason for this has always been that the longer I have a scammer tied up with me, the less time they have sp work over people who may fall for their nonsense. That it’s fun is a bonus.

Now, more recently, I was contacted by someone who wanted to give me 10.5 million dollars. Clearly, I was quids in! So, let’s have a look at what happened.


Message 1:

FEDERAL DEPOSIT INSURANCE CORPORATION
550 17th NW (F St NW)
Washington, D.C. 20429
USA

FDIC DEBT SETTLEMENT OF US$10.5 MILLION 2019

Attention: Fund Beneficiary .

I Mrs. Jelena Mcwilliams of F.D.I.C Office are contacting you regarding your DEBT SETTLEMENT OF US$10.5 MILLION 2019.

However, this is to notify you that the President has given a solid Instruction’s to release your fund to you immediately and the Paying Bank has 2 method of payment which is stated below and how much it will cost you for each of the method of payment you choose to receive your due fund without any delay.

There is three Method of Payment below and you are advised to choose one on how you want to receive your fund from the PAYING Bank.

(1). By Wire transfer cost: (This means that the Bank will transfer your fund directly to any Bank of your choice).
(2). By ATM card: (The Bank will issue out an ATM card to you after they have loaded your funds in ATM card).

In your response back to us, we will then know the method you wish to receive your fund so that the Paying Bank will start the processing and make sure that you receive your fund as the President stated with immediate effect.

Your immediate response is highly needed to commence on this transaction.

Best regards,

MRS. JELENA MCWILLIAMS
CHAIRMAN FEDERAL DEPOSIT INSURANCE CORPORATION


So, that’s clearly a scam, right? I couldn’t help but notice two things. One was a specific typo that I figured I may as well bring up. The other was the name Jelena. I’ve never heard the name Jelena before. It being an unusual name gave me an in though, so I picked a name, and got to work.


Reply 1:

Dear Mrs. Jelena McWilliams

I note that you said there are three methods to receive my payment, but you only mentioned two. Could you please confirm the third method? I want to weigh up all my options.

As a side note, where did you go to school? I went to school with a girl named Jelena McWilliams and wondered if it was you.

Father Todd Unctious.


Message 2:

FEDERAL DEPOSIT INSURANCE CORPORATION
550 17th NW (F St NW)
Washington, D.C. 20429
USA
FDIC DEBT SETTLEMENT OF US$10.5 MILLION 2019

Attention: Fund Beneficiary,

I am very grateful to God today witnessing another additional year in my life today. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME. I am today 46 years old born on July 29, 1978 in Belgrade, Serbia and Nationality: American, I went Education: University of California, Berkeley (BS, JD). I do go to work on my birthday but I close on time for little friends gathering and celebration with family.

I Mrs. Jelena Mcwilliams have acknowledge your email content well noted dated July 29, 2019. Meanwhile, I want to explain to you that the person I have in record as a the receiver is you and For you to be sure that this is real and to know who you are dealing with, You are advised to view my working ID card. You should keep it highly confidential.

However, you should note that the processing of your payment Contract Inheritance fund sum of $10,500,000.00 (Ten Million Five Hundred Thousand United States Dollars Only) is genuine, approved by the Presidency Office. The Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation (FDIC) will commence as soon as you chose the options for your Payment which has already indicated to you below.

(1). By Bank to Bank Transfer Payment will cost you only $850 to get your transfer Funds processed. through this way your total funds will be transferred bank to bank.

(2). By ATM card Payment will cost you only $550 to get your ATM card processed. Through this way your ATM Master card will be Loaded completely with your total funds and delivered to your hand and you can have Access to your Funds through ATM machine around the globe daily limit $20,000.

(3). By Diplomatic Cash delivery will cost you $1250. through this way your Fund will be delivered to you in Cash with two Diplomatic Box.

Before we commence on this transaction, You are required to provides the information below to start the processing immediately:

Full Name;
Address;
Telephone:
Occupation:
Age:
Id card:

The requested information is urgently needed to avoid wrong computing of your details into payment data that will hinder successful payment of the fund in your favor legally.

Your immediate response is highly appreciated.

Best regards,
MRS. JELENA MCWILLIAMS
CHAIRMAN FEDERAL DEPOSIT INSURANCE CORPORATION
ID CARD MRS. JELENA MCWILLIAMS


Oh, boy. That is one badly done photoshop ID card, isn’t it? Still, that was my cue to start doing some bad photoshop pics of my own. Which of course meant that Mr. Shrugs came out to play…


Reply 2:

Hi Jelena,

I am happy to respond immediately, just as you asked. Happy birthday! And I can’t believe it’s actually you! I was actually at our old Unversity just yesterday, and attach a photo for you. Do you remember when we hung Professor Longley’s underwear from that very balcony? My word; how have you been though? I’ve rather missed my favourite drinking buddy.

I rather like the option of bank transfer. Honestly, I’ve been a bit down on my luck recently, so having all the money would help pay off the loan sharks. All I can say is, the communion wine is apparently not a ‘freebie’ in the priesthood. That was never explained to me before I joined up, but there you go. Is there the option to take the $850 fee out of my total payment?

Father Todd Unctious
Uni Pic


Message 3:

FEDERAL DEPOSIT INSURANCE CORPORATION
550 17th NW (F St NW)
Washington, D.C. 20429
USA
FDIC DEBT SETTLEMENT OF US$10.5 MILLION 2019

Attention: Fund Beneficiary,
I have acknowledged your email content noted. I remembered everything you said. It been a years now. Meanwhile, I want you to know that your Funds will be release and Transfer to you once you pay the required processing Transfer charge. As you chose the option of Transfer and the charge is $850, I will help you with $300 while you pay the
remaining balance of $550 for old time sake buddy and your Fund will be Release and Transfer to you.
Your immediate response is highly appreciated.
Best regards,
MRS. JELENA MCWILLIAMS

CHAIRMAN FEDERAL DEPOSIT INSURANCE CORPORATION


It has indeed been ‘a years’. I love the gesture of goodwill to pay part of the fee as we’re old buddies too. Little does Jelena know, Father Unctious has a photo that she won’t want getting out…


Reply 3:

Dear Jelena,

Again, I give you my immediate response. I truly hate to play hardball with an old friend, but I simply cannot afford $550. Need I remind you that I still have that photo (attached as proof)? I still know where the swimming pool is, and the authorities would certainly love to know where young Ms. Banks’ body ended up. As such, I am afraid that I must insist on some further assistance. If you can pay $450, I will pay the remaining $400. That should be easy enough to gather from the collection tray in tonight’s mass.

Father Todd Unctious

pool


Message 4:

FEDERAL DEPOSIT INSURANCE CORPORATION
550 17th NW (F St NW)
Washington, D.C. 20429
USA
FDIC DEBT SETTLEMENT OF US$10.5 MILLION 2019

Attention: Fund Beneficiary,

I am in receipt of your email content well understood. I will do as you said to make sure that you received your Funds. I will help you with the $450 while you send the balance of $400 with the information stated below and get back to me with the Payment Information including your Banking Information for immediate processing and Transfer.

HERE IS THE PAYMENT DETAILS BELOW: MAKE THE PAYMENT THROUGH MONEYGRAM ONLY:

Receiver’s name: Loretta DeWitt
Address: Indiana United States
Amount: $400
Reference Mtcn#

Your immediate response is highly appreciated.

Best regards,
MRS. JELENA MCWILLIAMS
CHAIRMAN FEDERAL DEPOSIT INSURANCE CORPORATION


Reply 4:

Jelena,
Thank you, I am glad we have reached an understanding. I will facilitate the moneygram transfer tomorrow. May I ask though, who is Loretta DeWitt? I don’t want to complicate things by involving too many people.
Father Todd Unctious


Message 5:

FEDERAL DEPOSIT INSURANCE CORPORATION
550 17th NW (F St NW)
Washington, D.C. 20429
USA
FDIC DEBT SETTLEMENT OF US$10.5 MILLION 2019

Attention: Fund Beneficiary,

I have received your email and as you sated of facilitate the moneygram transfer tomorrow, I will be looking forward to receive the payment information once you get it done. If you are getting back to me with the payment information, Includes your Banking details for Transfer processing. Meanwhile, regards to Loretta DeWitt! She the FDIC Agent working with my office and she is not away of anything.

HERE IS THE PAYMENT DETAILS BELOW: MAKE THE PAYMENT THROUGH MONEYGRAM ONLY:

Receiver’s name: Loretta DeWitt
Address: Indiana United States
Amount: $400
Reference Mtcn#

Your immediate response is highly appreciated.

Best regards,
MRS. JELENA MCWILLIAMS
CHAIRMAN FEDERAL DEPOSIT INSURANCE CORPORATION


I’m guessing that Loretta is Jelena’s real name. At this point, I thought I could push things a little more to see how much I could get Jelena to agree to pay.


Reply 5:

Jelena

This has been an unmitigated disaster. As you can see from the attached photo, nobody turned up to mass. I rather think that my declaration last week that God may not even be listening to me anymore may have driven my congregation away. Now, I managed to pawn some of the more ornate crucifixes, but I failed to raise the full $400. The local pawnbroker would only give me $200. I do have an additional $100 in savings though. If I pay $300, could you temporarily cover the rest? I would, of course, pay you back once I receive my money. Honestly though, I’m getting rather desperate at this point.

Father Todd Unctious

church


Message 6:

FEDERAL DEPOSIT INSURANCE CORPORATION
550 17th NW (F St NW)
Washington, D.C. 20429
USA
FDIC DEBT SETTLEMENT OF US$10.5 MILLION 2019

Attention: Fund Beneficiary,

I have acknowledged your email today. I am getting to my office and find out that I need to proceed fast and facilitate this transaction as soon as possible and as you stated on your email that you could not have the $400 all and you can send the $300, I understand everything you have said and I am willing to assist you to ensure this matter is completed. therefore I want the progress of your life. you should go ahead and send the money $300 and get back to me so that I will see what I can do to finish this Transaction and make sure you receive the funds. I want you to fellow my instruction and send the money through moneygram and get back to me with the payment information once it’s done so that I will commence. Note you have to send me your banking details for the transfer in your response back with the payment details.

HERE IS THE PAYMENT DETAILS BELOW: MAKE THE PAYMENT THROUGH MONEYGRAM ONLY:

Receiver’s name: Loretta DeWitt
Address: Indiana United States
Reference Mtcn#

Your immediate response is highly appreciated.

Best regards,
MRS. JELENA MCWILLIAMS
CHAIRMAN FEDERAL DEPOSIT INSURANCE CORPORATION


Reply 6:

Jelena,

Thank you, you are a star. What sort of information should I expect to need to send you once the transfer is done? Like, do you have an example payment reference or anything? I’ll get it done later today. I just need to come up with an excuse for the crosses disappearing first. I’d completely forgotten that Bishop Brennan was coming to visit.

Father Todd Unctious.


Message 7:

FEDERAL DEPOSIT INSURANCE CORPORATION
550 17th NW (F St NW)
Washington, D.C. 20429
USA
FDIC DEBT SETTLEMENT OF US$10.5 MILLION 2019

Attention: Fund Beneficiary .

I have received your email. You will send me the payment information (8 digit Reference Mtcn#), You can as well send me the money gram payment receipt copy once you send the money including your Banking details so that I will process the Transfer.

I am waiting to receive the copy of the moneygram payment receipt once you get it done.

Best regards,

MRS. JELENA MCWILLIAMS
CHAIRMAN FEDERAL DEPOSIT INSURANCE CORPORATION


This is where I decided to call it a day and start doing things that made it very clear that I was onto her. As you’ll see though, she somehow didn’t notice.


Reply 7:

Jelena,

I am currently sat on the toilet. Bishop Brennan has fired me from my job in the church, and I am refusing to leave the premises. I’ve used the church WiFi to make the transfer and attach a photo for you with the reference on. I look forward to our continued correspondence.

Todd Unctious

Screenshot_Moneygram


Message 8:

FEDERAL DEPOSIT INSURANCE CORPORATION
550 17th NW (F St NW)
Washington, D.C. 20429
USA
FDIC DEBT SETTLEMENT OF US$10.5 MILLION 2019

Attention: Fund Beneficiary .

I have received your email with the money gram photo. You are to send the Money Gram Refrence Number given to you  and also get abck to me with full sender details
You can as well send me the money gram payment receipt copy once you send the money including your Banking details so that I will process the Transfer.

I am waiting to receive the copy of the moneygram payment receipt once you get it done.

Best regards,

MRS. JELENA MCWILLIAMS
CHAIRMAN FEDERAL DEPOSIT INSURANCE CORPORATION


Reply 8:

Jelena.

Please read the ‘your ref’ section on the screenshot again. Slowly. I would also recommend googling Father Todd Unctious and Bishop Brennan. If that isn’t enough, I have also attached a photo for you.

Thank you though. Your idiocy will provide much amusement for my readers.

Read This

 


 

Message 9:

FEDERAL DEPOSIT INSURANCE CORPORATION
550 17th NW (F St NW)
Washington, D.C. 20429
USA
FDIC DEBT SETTLEMENT OF US$10.5 MILLION 2019

Attention: Fund Beneficiary .
I have received your email with the money gram photo. You are to send The 8-digit MoneyGram Reference Number that can be found on sender’s receipt.

Do also forward the confirmation email sent to you from MoneyGram.

Get back to me with the transfer details as soon as you send the money such as.

SENDER’S NAME
REFERENCE NUMBER
TOTAL AMOUNT SENT

You can as well send me the money gram payment receipt copy.

I am waiting to receive the copy of the moneygram payment receipt once
you get it done.

Best regards,
MRS. JELENA MCWILLIAMS
CHAIRMAN FEDERAL DEPOSIT INSURANCE CORPORATION

 


 

Reply 9:

Jelena,

I’m getting embarrassed for you at this point. Please re-read my last e-mail. Read what the billboard says in the photo. If that doesn’t make it clear enough, then please read the following haiku:

You Are A Scammer

So I Messed With You For Days

It Was Lots Of Fun

 


 

That was where she finally stopped responding. I was genuinely shocked that it went on as long as it did, but it sure was a lot of fun! Let me know in the comments below if you enjoy my escapades and if you had a favourite moment.



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