Hello, one and all, and welcome to another Top 5 List (in no particular order). This time, I’ll be broaching a subject close to my heart: Professional Wrestling. As someone who spent working in the business, I can tell you that wrestling is taken very seriously by many of those involved, and quite rightly so. It’s dangerous, pure and simple. Even with the best training on the planet, it still carries such a big risk, and as such, taking it lightly is rather silly. That said, wrestling itself can get silly. Very silly. And sometimes without even meaning to. This list embraces some of the daftest wrestling things that you may not have seen. Some of it is cringeworthy. Some of it is hilarious. Some of it is … weird. Let’s begin.
The weirdness that is Mokujin Ken
Sometimes known as Ken The Box, Moujin Ken is someone dressed in carboard boxes. Mokujin Ken is also remarkably well liked by the crowd. I have no idea what else to say about this other than that SPWC had some odd moments.
Chuck Taylor and his invisible grenade
CHIKARA in America is a land of fun. The action is good, the long-form storytelling of the season-long feuds is great, and the wrestlers themselves have a sense of humour. One of my favourite moments from said company was the six-man tag match pitting the nefarious F.I.S.T against the ant themed Colony. Here, Chuck Taylor is sick of Soldier Ant bossing him around like a drill seargent. So, he pulls out the deadliest weapon known to man: the invisible grenade. Time slows, and the fun begins …
Hayabusa, H, and a Firecracker
In 1999, Frontier Martial-Arts Wrestling (FMW) held the first ever Anus Explosion Death Match. Feel free to re-read that. It’s perfectly reasonable to not believe that you just read it. I’m afraid that you did though. You see, H was a (now sadly deceased) wrestler that had previously been known as Hayabusa. Hayabusa was another wrestler known as Mr Gannosuke who was wearing Hayabusa’s mask and acting as an imposter Hayabusa. And so, in the time honoured tradition of wrestling, the two engaged in a heated rivalry. At some point, FMW decided that this was a good addition to the feud. The rules of the match were simple: you could win by the normal method of pinfall etc. Or you could win by sticking a lit firecracker in your opponent’s rear end and letting it explode. With that rule in place, you just knew that it was going to happen. The video below is the match winning explosion. Witness: the fireworks. Hear: the commentators brust out laughing. Wonder: why you just watched that.
Kaiju Big Battel … all of it
Despite the name, this is actually another American outfit. Basically, it’s wrestlers dressed as giant Japanese mosnters, fighting in a cheesy style that sometimes involves buildings for them to crush. It is exactly how it sounds. I love the daftness of it.
Table vs. Ladder
And we’re back to Japan, this time visiting SPWC as they host the most epic battle of our generation: A Kotatsu Foot Heater Table vs. A Ladder. No, the table is not possessed like the one in Battle Heater, but yes, they do fight. And there is a winner.
And so ends this look into the strangeness that can sometimes occur when people don spandex and fight for entertainment. I hope you enjoyed, and feel free to point out your own favourite wrestling oddities. Thanks for reading everybody, I’ll catch ya later!